669 words. Three pages. Better than yesterday, but still not great. Not my best work.
Got to the end of Chapter Four today, which is the little bridge chapter where Sydney leads Dow to the morgue and we learn about McMurdo, and how Sydney views both it and Dow. Today I really tried to focus some on the description of the central dome that serves as McMurdo-Lunar’s main admin/social hub, and is really the only above-ground portion of the station.
Rereading it just now, it’s kind of crummy. The descriptive work is just muddy and fragmented, and the dome doesn’t play well. I might try to pare some of this back a little later on and rely on some of Dow’s observations to fill in the gaps in a couple of chapters. Could work. Might not. We’ll see.
There is one description that I like, though, were Sydney describes Dow as staring up at her from his “hang-dog slouch” while he fidgets with god knows what in his pockets. A lot of this chapter is about her perception of things, and—while it is fragmented in its current state—I think that I kind of like that Dow’s behavior has been so erratic thus far that Sydney’s ideas of him can’t coalesce. At different times in the chapter she views him in a half dozen different lights. Maybe that doesn’t work in the long run, but it’s a handy indicator right now as to the state of Dow as a character and whether or not he’s coming together in the way that he needs to be.