FAQ


Compiling an FAQ is harder than it might seem. Nobody really just shows up right at the beginning and drops all of the right questions, so I just went ahead and asked myself all of the things that I would want to know the answers to if I stumbled across this site. I've tried to be as thorough as possible, and I even tried to keep it from getting all weird and meta.


I still have a question! What do you think of that?

I'm very impressed, if not a little confused. If you still have unanswered questions that you think deserve to be on the FAQ, please post them in the comment section below. I'll get around to answering them shortly.


So what's, you know, the deal with this Hey, Internet! thing anyway?

You know what? I'm going to go ahead and let myself answer that one.


And what about you? You some kind of weirdo?

Nah. Well, actually, kind of. I am a writer after all. Other than that, I'm a pretty normal dude.


Why are you doing this?

Because no matter how much romantic and deeply nostalgic love I have for the traditional publishing model (agents, editors, publishing imprints with Manhattan addresses, waiting a year and a half after the sale for the book to go to print) I also recognize that the world is changing and that publishing is going to have to adapt along with it. So I want to try and interact with that future a little. Also, there are a lot of readers who don't know a whole lot about the writing process, and I figured that if I like to learn about how other people do their jobs then maybe someone would like to learn about how I do mine. Also, also; maybe a lot of people will read this and I'll get to be on the TV!


That's dumb. This is dumb. You're dumb.

I'm sorry you feel that way. Furthermore: Cool story, bro.


Don't you know that my most/least favorite author, Such-And-Such, already did this? How do you not know? It was totes epic/lame!

Short answer? No. Long answer? There's a lot of stuff on the internet, and no matter how much time I may spend here I probably haven't seen all of it. I don't personally know of any other writers (professional or otherwise) documenting their work like this, but I'm willing to concede that it has probably been done. Most things have been done, and all that really counts in the end is how much heart and effort and talent each person puts into their various takes on the idea. The way I look at it; if there's room enough in this world for The Asylum to churn out terrible rip-off after terrible rip-off of Hollywood films, then there's probably enough room for more than one writer to indulge in the same creative experiment.


What kind of things can I expect to read on this site?

My objective is to update Hey, Internet! on a Monday/Wednesday/Friday for the duration. That's from the conception of the idea behind the novel all of the way up until the publication date. So you can probably expect all kinds of different content, ranging from:
  • A simple M/W/F word count, to essays about the writing process, the life of a writer, and healthy habits that balance writing with everyday life.
  • Excerpts, character profiles, setting notes, and links to anything that I might draw inspiration or ideas from.
  • Answering reader questions, and hopefully conducting interviews with publishing employees and other writers.
  • Contests. I love contests. For serious. You have no idea.


So there will be contests?

Ohgodyes.


Should there be any kind of content warning here? Sex? Violence? Coarse language?

I can't speak to the content of the book because it hasn't been written yet, and I've forbidden myself from thinking about it until the project start date. I've thought about the website a lot, though, and I'm going to do my best to keep things pretty family friendly around here. Specifically my family. Because I suspect that they will be reading this. Hi, guys.

I rather suspect that I'll dip into the coarse language well every once in a while, though.


You said in the Backstory section that you're planning to use Createspace to publish the final novel. What happens if an agent or publisher approaches you during the writing process and shows an interest in the book?

That's awfully wishful thinking, Me. Awfully wishful thinking, indeed! I guess if that happens then I will have a decision to make. I can't guarantee that I'd be able to turn down such an offer (I am young and hungry and romantically, nostalgically in love after all) but I plan to write and publish this novel very much on my own terms, and I'm going to choose to have faith in my own dedication to the idea. Plus, I have several other very nice (and very unpublished) manuscripts that the agent or publisher might enjoy instead.

That last bit is a hint, Agents and Publishers.


How long do you expect this project to take?

Years of National Novel Writing Month have honed me to the point where I can churn out a novel pretty quickly. Since I'm planning on documenting everything and not making it all up as I go along, I'm going to give myself two to three months for planning/writing, plus another couple of months for editing and revision. I'm still looking into the publication process at Createspace, so I don't know how long all of that should take yet...Right now, though, I'm going to estimate that we're looking at anywhere between six and eight months for the whole thing.


Can I contact you?

Yes. Absolutely. I have a dedicated email account for this site, as well as pages on most of the usual social media sites. Pertinent links are under the Get in Touch tab, and you may feel free to encourage/berate me at your leisure. All I ask is that, if you're going to berate me, you use correct spelling and punctuation and remember that failure to do so will mark you as eligible for mockery in any post where I respond to reader mail.


What's up with that typewriter in the header image? You aren't going to write the novel on that, are you?

I'm glad you asked, Hypothetical Reader! While I do use that typewriter sometimes, I am not planning on using it for this project. Because paper for it is very expensive. And the noise really scares the dog.


What kind of typewriter is it?

It's a Remington Portable #2, manufactured in Ohio in 1926. It was used by the United States Army in France during the Second World War--though I'm not sure in what capacity--and sustained damage that required it to be re-keyed in a style popular in France and Eastern Europe. The Y & Z keys are reversed, and there are more options for pronunciation marks. It is my baby, and I'm sure I'll dedicate a whole post to it at some later date.


Can I see a better picture of it?

You're very interested in my typewriter, Imaginary Person Who I Assume Is Just As Interested In My Typewriter As I Am! Yes. Here is a better picture of the Remington to hold you over:


Yeah, I think it's pretty sexy.

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